Imaginary Week 8

I was off with a case of major man-flu (or minor swine flu) this week so the Biscuits remained in their tin. But we can always imagine what may have happened.

So to paraphrase Alan Moore here's an imaginary story. Huh, aren't they all?

We arrived to find Dagg Studios full of pornstars dubbing their new movie with authentic orgasmic cries. Ever the troopers we soldiered on.

The surprising thing about pornographic voice artists is that they look nothing like their visual counterparts. Instead the best sounding women look like ordinary plane Janes. So next time you dismiss some chick for her looks think about what's inside of her (ie a healthy pair of lungs).

We warmed up with a Crunchy Biscuit style adaptation of Flight of the Wounded Bumblebee, each of us taking turns to perform a virtuoso solo. Segued nicely into a new track called The Birds and the Bees - nursery rhymme-esque and inspired by next rooms shenanigans.

Chris used up all the batteries on his camera taking pictures of the ladies (for his own personal use, he said) so I've had to resort to an older picture to illustrate this weeks blog. He also brought us our next bit of merchandise - Crunchy Biscuits Action Figures! They're caricatures of our good selves and each figure comes complete with musical accessories (including a mini kazoo for yours truly!). They also have in built action features - Chris has a mouth-splitting siren's wail, Dan has a Pete Townsend guitar windmill signature move and mine's called drummer-choking-on-his-own-vomit.

We also did a song called Jump Ship featuring Dan on the foghorn, Pull the Chain with me on the toilet and Look Ma No Hands with Chris on the piano.

Because we were in the end room, when we went on our break we had to go through next door to get outside upsetting the poor voice artists. And when our break was over they needed some inspiration so we went back pantless.

We ended our session with Soggy Biscuit Blues and a power balad version of Saloon Dion.

Much fun was had by all and we hope you tune in next week to see how youtubing Stevie Ray Vaughn and Oasis inspired Legendary Dan.